Turbanhead

Baghdad, Iraq:  In an unprecedented move, Saddam Hussein fired his lawyers and defended himself in court.  More surprising, according to legal experts, was his decision to use the "Chewbacca Defense" in his opening statement.

Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed jury, the United States of America would certainly want you to believe that I have committed "Crimes Agaisnt Humanity" over ten years ago. And they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself!

But ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider: Ladies and gentlemen this [pointing to a picture of Chewbacca] is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk, but Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now, think about that. THAT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! (Background: Damnit! What? He’s using the Chewbacca defense!) Why would a Wookiee—an eight foot tall Wookiee—want to live on Endor with a bunch of two foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense!

But more important, you have to ask yourself, what does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense!

Look at me, I’m a former dictator defending myself in a court with questionable standing, and I’m talkin’ about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense. None of this makes sense!

And so you have to remember, when you’re in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation… does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense.

If Chewbacca lived on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.

I think this case is in the bag!

Developing story.  The BBC and other news outlets have continuing coverage of this story.

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